My Sacred Story. My Awakening. My Liberation.
Although I wasn't born with the name, “Alishina,” it is my legal name now, and one that represents my Soul's Unsung Song, and most importantly, the reclamation of my Gay Soul. It is the name that invokes my soul power, and more than anything… the name that invokes me as my true essence, not my past conditioning. It was important for me to celebrate the sacred transformation that required more than 6 years of my life – to shed my past like the serpent sheds her skin, and claim my illumined warrior within, and reclaim my joy and sexual power.
My path has been one of reclaiming my sexuality, coming out, overcoming the wounds of shame from fundamental Christianity, and healing severe childhood sexual abuse. I knew my truth when I was a child, but I locked it all away until one day I would feel safe to live my truth. I've spent the past 10 years studying sacred sexuality and energy healing to reclaim what is sacred and find the genuine intimacy I long for.
A little more about my journey of Awakening my Gay Soul and finding my Liberation...
I am an initiate of the Peruvian Shamanic path of Healing and Energy Medicine from the Andes Mountains – the Q'uechua natives. Although my spirituality would be considered “cross-cultural” as it weaves elements from both North and South American earth-based traditions, Gnostic Christianity, and Eastern mystical traditions, particularly Yoga… at my core I am in service of what I call “Liberation Consciousness,” the new Paradigm we are collectively birthing to shed our past pain and EMERGE as who we have come to be – fully awakened beings in service of evolution, and our global enlightenment and healing.
I had my first “Mystical Experience” and Awakening in 2008 in the Colorado Rockies when my small “egoic consciousness” merged with Infinite Intelligence. In that moment I knew that a Divine Source existed, and that I was intimately connected with it. I sat out on a mission to help others awaken to the same realization, but first I needed A LOT of healing!! Along the way I began to experience Divine Awakenings and discover my own “Inner Goddess,” as I was married to a woman at the time and we had a shared passion for Goddess spirituality and tantra.
However, on my 33rd birthday I had a Radical Awakening… In a shamanic journey I realized that the life I was living was not at all in alignment with my Authentic Self,… in fact I wasn’t quite sure what that was…except that I was pretty sure I was gay and I wanted to do much bigger things with my life. The guidance was clear… “Leave your wife and your life as you know it, and go be a gay man.” And so I did… I left my marriage and career of 11 years to travel the world to Bali, Ecuador, and The Sacred Valley of Peru to heal my queer spirit, my broken heart, and reclaim my sacred powers – my sexuality and my creativity potential as a musician (both of which I repressed for decades).
I felt liberated in many ways, but that was actually just the beginning. Coming out was the easy part. What I didn’t understand was how I had literally no idea who I really was until my mid 30’s. After a LOT of deep work with the sacred plant medicines, including ayahuasca and psilocybin mushrooms, I started to recall memories of early childhood sexual abuse, rape, and incest. I was completely blind-sided, but it was this missing puzzle piece that solved the bigger mystery. It’s amazing how our systems have such built-in intelligence to protect us, and ultimately help us heal ourselves if the conditions are congruent.
I had to face into an horrendous journey of healing the trauma and abuse, or stay bound by shame and depression. I had to process literally THOUSANDS of hours of trauma and repressed emotions – all the things I couldn’t bear to feel when I was 6, 7, and 8 years old.. and left my body to survive. But in order to come back into my body, and reclaim my own “yoni” and sacred power, the only way out was THROUGH… and it was this experience that birthed my fierce Feminine within, and lit a fire for my passion for Divine Awakenings, Sacred Sexuality, and Gender Fluidity. If I can overcome such unspeakable trauma, forgive my abusers and rise from the ashes to manifest a new dream as an Awakened Goddess, so too can you…